Hedgerigars

The internet has given us many possibilities to, as someone wiser than me would say, twist and bend the fabric of reality. Oops, pardon, he wasn’t talking about the internet, he was talking about the tools of an artist. I’d rather say that the internet, unlike the arts, gives you a chance to bend the laws of nature and, as I once said, just think how easy it is to be God!

So, yesterday, a friend from Montreal who is the author of the shocking photos you’ll see below but whose name will be censored to K** because God and interpol will be after her was typing out an article for me and we came accross something that really shook us. There are many heron addicts in the world. And, we discovered that we’re one of them and, as we all know, the best herons in the world are located at the Heron island. On that note, she decided to send me one, so I could feed my addiction properly.

Unfortunately, when my heron arrived, I was not at home, so my budgerigar, Gigi, noticed that the heron was a female. I can’t tell you what exactly happened next, as it is clearly not for people under 18 years of age, but a couple of weeks after, a total crime against a nature was born: a HEDGERIGAR

So… K** and I are smuggling hedgerigars now, would you like one? They’re good for a bunch of things: you can sniff them and the effect is twice as good as it is with herons, they can be pets, they like children and they lay eggs. Of course, we don’t know what’ll come out of those eggs as of yet, as we need a couple of more hedgerigars and an approval from a bunch of churches, anti-animal cruelty and government organisations in both Canada and Serbia in order to breed them and legalise the incest, as they’ll all eventually be cousins at the beginning; but hey, no risk no fun!

I like being God and a criminal at the same time, I might fill in applications for both jobs.

Filed under Humour, you IDIOT! |