Powerless To Change Your World
Happy Easter. For a change, us here celebrated it on the same day as everyone else. And it was cool. I’d have taken some pics, but something weird is happening with my digital camera, it won’t take photos when flash is on and, well, sometimes I need more light. In fact, this is one of those moments in life when I could use a light year of light.
My wonderful friend Fran and I caught up on MSN last night and she mentioned that she could feel a lot of pain in my entries here and on LiveJournal and in plain stupid survey bulletins on MySpace; so she asked me what it was all about and I told her the story I cannot share in public, as I don’t want to sound like some drama blogger girl. I did not realise I sound THAT bitter and hurt, because…I don’t really know what I’m feeling at the moment, what I was feeling yesterday, a week or a month ago. Someone owes me an explanation, I am not sure if I want to hear it, as it will probably turn out everything was a bunch of complete coincidences. And even if it wasn’t, how to live with the thought of being a complete jinx hanging above my head? How? Sure, time is a cure for everything, but this was…specific. I could write. I could write a whole novel about nothing and everything, all at once. A novel where nothing happened and everything happened. I just told you everything and I didn’t tell you anything. How do you fell when your first try in something was a real flop? Do you move on? Keep on trying? Realise you’re not talented for that even though it’s something that’s so easy for everyone else? Do you feel dumb? How dumb?
Want something happier? I have made a new layout for Lush Serbia, go and have a look. I am yet to make it tableless (was a bit lazy, I must admit), sort accessibility issues as I know some people who visit it regularly are blind and also experiment with some other things. But it won’t be getting an 800×600 version this time.
Actually, this isn’t happier either, as the person who hired me got fired and we all loved him, even though he had occasional shortcomings…who doesn’t have them, anyway?
Weird, weird world this is…
04/09/2007 at 11:15 pm
Nice job on the Lush site - I used to make bath-bombs and solid shampoo bars for them in Toronto back in the 90s.
04/10/2007 at 2:22 am
You’re one hell of a website designer! That Lush website is really nice, Iva.
04/10/2007 at 2:54 pm
I think I already told you that I love the new Lush website. ‘Tis the prettiest of the bunch now. And the Swedish one is still hideous.
About the other thing.. It’s mostly luck. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway, and I sure hope it’s true
In some strange way, it makes it all make sense
04/19/2007 at 11:21 pm
It does make sense Iva… it really does.
And even though I may be a little bitter sometimes from everything that’s happened in my life, my guess is you gotta keep on trying. Because once you get too bitter you can’t find a point in living or in anything else, so what else can we do?
Plus, like you said, it all seems so freaking easy for most people… maybe we’re the ones that can’t get it right. Maybe once we do, we’ll find the point in all of this…
Did my comment make sense at all? LOL…
04/19/2007 at 11:21 pm
Oh, and thanks for the “wonderful” part. It makes me feel special.
