Hi, I'm Iva and this is squirrelism.net. This little corner of the worldwide disast...err, web is meant to serve as my own personal space and also a soap box with a bunch of goodies made for my visitors.
I'm 25 years old, I'm Serbian and I've lived in Belgrade all my life. I'm supposed to go for a master in Italian language and literature, but currently I'm not even halfway through and I just can't be bothered. In the meantime, I'm pushing hard for an Adobe Expert certificate, designing websites for money and for myself and writing poetry. I'm pretty straightforward, yet shy when it comes to things I really want from life. I don't believe in anything, I don't intofixicate myself with anything and I don't think anything in this world is a coincidence.
According to some amazing people, I'm a terrorist.
According to some other amazing people, I'm insane.
According to Google, I'm a form of debt relief.
According to some amazing people, I do not exist.
According to Pepsi, I'm an important source of profit.
According to...well, you got sick of this already.
And, my other car is a Porshe. X days left until 20th January 2009, yay!
What if the spammers are right?
Every time my Microsoft Outlook rings, I know that I have a new email message. Recently, 80% of them are the same.
So, even though I’m obviously female, as they brainwashed me by mentioning my “fishing rod”, “little guy” et cetera way too often; I realised that they MIGHT BE RIGHT. So, it took me a while to find a way to measure something that obviously does not exist.
I used this handy online tool to measure the size of my p3n15. It turns out that my non-existing manhood is 11.5 cm. So, perhaps the spammers are right. I do need v14gr4. Darn, huh?
No, I’m definitely not on drugs. I perfectly know what I wrote. 15th February is a public holiday in this country and, for the following reasons, I declare it invalid:
I have no idea what the area of this country is. It’s OK, no one knows.
I have no idea what the population of this country is. It’s OK, no one knows.
I have no idea how big this country will be in one week. It’s OK, no one knows.
So, therefore I pronounce 15th February to be…the world’s anual misheard lyrics day! And, this was inspired by Mira’s neverending search for mozzarella butterflies.
The first song to research in this action would be Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. Ever since the days Weird Al Yanković realised that it’s hard to bargle nawdl zouss with all those marbles in my mouth, there have been multiple variations to the theme. Us people from Balkans tend to think that second to last a denial in the song is actually ‘ladim jaja which would literally mean I’m cooling down my balls. However, whoever did this had much more on their mind than just that one harmless misunderstood line:
If you’re up for some evil gnomes, if you want to know why the jelly can’t kick its other father, then…continue reading.
Since my website comes in all those amazingly porn-related searches that I mentioned a few weeks ago, I thought I’d give the audience what they demand, so here is some vegetable porn….paprika-porn, to be precise This thing popped up from a paprika at the breakfast the other day and my dad and I wanted to show it to everyone because we’re easily amused, but my mom put it in a stew.
Some amazing paprika-porn: right here, right now, only on squirrelism.net!
In the end, she was the one who came across it at the dinner table and she was screaming at dad to get it out of her plate, because she didn’t want to eat paprika testicles and a paprika penis. There you go, all the porn lovers who come to this site must be delighted now.
