This is for Sofija, she wanted me to update…and I am guessing she’s not aware that I have made another blog for Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian-speakers, it’s over there. Also, RHCP Serbia, run by Ivan, Jovana and I is finally up, for now just the forum, but we’ll get the rest up when we can.
First, one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life sent me an angry mail yesterday afternoon. I wrote a long reply to explain who was screwing around with me, she replied back today, but I don’t dare to read it. I put the message in the read later folder. I am not mentally able to see what she will say. All I know is that, whatever I do, I need her in my life because she’s like family to me. God, this sucks. And I know that she knows I have no nerves but…still… I lost her once already. My heart and mind wouldn’t survive that.
I had a website crash which I managed to solve but it ended up with taking tranquilizers and my hands were shaking. I thought someone hacked me, I alarmed the hosting provider support and it turned out a database table just b0rked itself and needed to be repaired. I was so paranoid. I almost thought years of hard work blew up…so, I needed a walk…and more Pepsi…
…and then when I came back home with Pepsi, snacks and dad’s cigarettes, my wallet didn’t come home with me somehow, so I lost my ID, my health care ID, public transportation ID with the monthly ticket, bookstore three-year discount card, Elle shopping card and two debit cards, one youth Visa and one Maestro. There was also a tiny birthday card from a friend, a couple of paper calendars and proverbs we get with popcorn. And some money, about 20 Euros in dinars, but that’s the least important thing. Luckily, I blocked both cards and nobody knows my PINs anyway…but god…I don’t have documents.
If my life continues like this, I’ll die from a heart attack at 30. There’s been too much stress recently, everywhere. And in the end, come se tutto quello non bastasse, my camera is completely broke, I can’t even turn it on because it starts pulling its lense in and out as if it was epileptic. I wanted to take it to the service, but with my schedule these days, that turned out to be pretty impossible.
Recently, I’ve been on DeviantArt more than ever before and I’ve been neglecting the most of the online communities I’m visiting apart from the local Lush forum I’m the administrator of. Why? Work, work, work; followed by social life, social life, social life; ending with sleep, sleep, sleep.
Partly, I blame all this on the fears and traumas I’ve been through in 2005. and the most of 2006. Partly, I blame it on having been completely smitten and gaga for the past two months.
Shakira knows how to describe it properly. So, I’ll let her finish this entry for me…
Ojerosa, flaca, fea, desgreñada,
torpe, tonta, lenta, necia, desquiciada,
completamente descontrolada
tú te das cuenta y no me dices nada
ves que se me ha vuelto
la cabeza un nido
donde solamente tu tienes asilo
y no me escuchas lo que te digo
mira bien lo que vas a hacer conmigo
