April, ten years ago, part two: of Christiane F.

Part one, in case you missed it. This was translated from my paper diary from ten years ago, once again.

17th April 1998, God Friday
I was working for the written test in English pretty seriously. Then Kocka [dad’s friend whose head is shaped like a cube] came around and then Danijela [neighbour] with Mihailo [her son, five and half at that time]. It was simply not possible to study anymore, so I spent the rest of the time before school watching Cartoon Network with Mihailo. I was translating three toons for him: Scooby Doo, Two Stupid Dogs and Secret Squirrel. Then he got bored and started exploring my room. He came accross a Green Day poster, pointed to Tré Cool and said: This guy’s hair is ugly! and I smiled at his childish innocence. Then he pointed to Billie Joe Armstrong and said: And this guy is ugly!. Then he noticed the other Green Day poster and recognised Billie again, and commented: This guy is boring, he’s everywhere, I also saw him on TV the other day! And he has a huge ugly fat stomach! I was about to ask Mihailo how the hell he knew that Billie really is a bit overweight right now, but I didn’t have a chance to, as he said was: I have to run home to have fish soup for breakfast! and the next thing I knew, I was rolling over the coach laughing. Not to mention that he also saw Daniella Daze’s video for the song 100% Jesus and said that it’s wrong to listen to that song on God Friday and that the guy in the video should be embarrassed of himself for being shirtless, because many people are going to see that video. I love that child, he’s so funny.

Milanka ran away from school again today because of the English test and Dejana finally finished reading Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo and Ivana B. then gave it to me, with a catch: I had only six hours to read it, because of the spring break starting after today and she had to give the book back to her friend. So, I did not waste one single second and I spend the whole day reading it and pretending to follow classes. The book is very sad. Christiane F. was living in a poor neighbourhod in western Berlin, her mothe wasn’t controlling her much. At the tender age of 12, she was taking drugs and at 13, she was already a heroin addict. In the end, she went to rehab and I do hope that she pulled herself together, because so many of her friends died in hospitals feeling the worst possible pain, or they injected themselves a deadly does of heroin, leaving goodbye messages to the world, warning other young people not to follow their footsteps. Her boyfriend ended up in jail and he said that his dream would be to lead a normal, average life with Christianne. And Dejana seems to be having a thing for that guy, even though, he’s like, 20 years younger than us and so thin. And he slept with old men, too. Then again, I understand her. She used to liken that M. guy from third grade who’s also a heroin addict now. She said that she saw him in a club, rolling on the floor and shaking, having a crisis. I am really sad for all those poor people who can’t seem to find their own way and all of them who died young. After so many stories like Christiane’s, I wonder if she’s really the only person who escaped this? And I wonder if she’s on drugs again? Uroš has the internet and he said that he read some story about her, so maybe Milanka’s brother will allow us to use the internet and find that story to print it out.

Speaking of Milanka, I guess she’ll be glad to know that the English test was delayed, as so many people left school earlier to go somewhere for the spring break. I met her on our way to church (mom always makes me go to church for God Friday…) and I told her to stop cheating, because it’ll be so more useful for her to learn English and I could help her with that. Of course, I’m not judging her, I only have good intentions.

April, ten years ago, part one: Nut King Insane

Ten years ago, it was April 1998. I was barely fifteen years young. A 15-year-old version of me is looking back at me from the photos, wondering if we’re the same person. I can assure her that we are and that she’s heading the right direction. She read that this is the most succesful year for her star sign in this decade and that it’s all about giving foundation to principles that are to be obeyed later. So, she set her principles. And I’d like to share some excerpts from her diary, as told by her 25-year-old self.

04th April 1998, Saturday.
I had a good result at the school competition and at the local competition, I went to the city grammar competition with two friends: one who was a complete over-ambitious best-in-everything type of a person and one who went to the competition and passed two previous levels, for god knows what kind of personal satisfaction. It was a nice, sunny day, the spring was coming after a winter that wasn’t really a winter.

We didn’t do very good, but we didn’t do bad either…the problem were the girls and guys from the highschool that was specifically concentrated on language studies…their results were so good that nobody could beat them. We were aware that our results of e.g. 14 or 15 points were OK, but that, with ten of them snatching all 20 points, it’s not even enough for the third place. So, as we were waiting for the preliminary standings, we were singing Bajaga & instruktori’s Godine prolaze and drinking mineral water in the schoolyard. Then our professor came around and told us that we do not qualify for the republic competiton, just like we thought.

We took it easy and, on the way back home; Jana, the friend who was living closer to me, and I sat down in a nearby park, as the swings were not occupied by little children. And, as it was a nice day, our imagination was at a high level, so I asked her: “Jana, imagine what would happen if we were swinging so intense and madly that we’d actually jump from the swing onto the top of that tree?”

She looked at the tree and tried to remember what’s it famous for. Its Latin name is Morus Alba, its English name is White Mulberry, its Serbian name is Beli dud. And that particular white mulberry happens to be the oldest three in this city, more than 200 years old and located in a not-so-special park at a not-so-special place. But it’s easy to get that the park exists solely because of the tree.

When I was little, I had a vivid imagination, I was making up stories where trees and construction cranes were living alone in the city and that particular tree was the leading police officer and catching bad guys. I said all that to Jana and she was like: “Hmmm, if the tree is that old, then it knows the things we don’t know.” I said that it’s probably right, given that the tree witnessed, amongst other things, two world wars.

And then she told me to imagine a squirrel and that, if we swing and jump, the squirrel will help us land on the top of the tree. I followed the story and said that, when we’re up there, we’ll be able to see a warp in the sky, where the air is like gelatine. When one jumps through that gelatine-like air, one lands in a different dimension and a slightly different place: Beograd number 18 in the 38th century…at that time, there are so many people in the world that they had to split the cities into many, many smaller bits.

And Jana agreed that we should take the squirrel with us and found or own company for distribution of nuts from the 20th century to 38th century, called Nut King Insane. And we’d make big money, yet not spend almost any of time on it, because one day in Beograd 18 is like one month in Beograd.

And we said that we’ll always be praising the glorious April 1998, for having found our little secret to success and having changed the world. Do I praise it, after ten long years? Yes I do, for two reasons, one of them being my personal share of changes. And all the changes came from somewhat insignificant little stories such as this one. I never learned how, but as of now, I stopped question myself about it.

Seven Deadly Sins and I

I just completed the Seven Deadly Sins test on Tickle, as it was free this week. It says that I’m less sinful than most people, but I appear to have a strong gluttony, pride and the rest is either average or below average.

I would highly recommend this test, unlike the e.g. weight test which claims that the BMI of 23 is “too much” while everywhere else it would be classified as normal. So, I sent out four invitations to close friends, but I am encouraging everyone I know to take it. Click here!

And now about my results…

My pride is 8 out of 10, the average being 4.5 out of 10.
I’m not surprised that it’s my worst sin. There are so many things I would never do because I simply consider them wrong (and my low lust helps there, a lot), I would never do anything that could damage someone else’s interests, I would not speak to people who harmed me or for whom I think they harmed me; I would never lie or be an opportunist, I would never change myself to get what I want…and that is probably why I have it harder than the most of people. But i don’t think it’s a sin at all! I love it.

My gluttony is 6 out of 10, the average being 3 out of 10.
In fact, how come this one is not 9 out of 10? I have the kinds of craving only pregnant women have sometimes and I always have temporary obsessions about certain type of food; plus there’s my ongoing Big Mac obsession (they taste even better when they’re cold, have I ever told you that?) and this weird thing with Pepsi Max. Right now, I also have a thing for ćevapčići with kajmak, vanilla ice cream with Plazma keks and…god, I shouldn’t go on.

My greed is 4 out of 10, the average being 3 out of 10.
Frankly, I think the average cannot be 3 out of 10 and that people are pretending to be humble, so I am probably less greedy than the most of population. Also, this test was made for an American average Joe/Jane type of a person and the life standards are bigger in USA nd western Europe. If I want more, I just want some normal things, such as actually having two holidays a year and having enough to pay the most of my parents’ bills. I don’t see that as greed.

My wrath is 3 out of 10, the average being 3 out of 10.
I guess I have improved, I used to be horrible.

My envy is 3 out fo 10, the average being 2.5 out of 10.
And that’s probably because of the same thing as greed.

My sloth is 2 out of 10, the average being 4 out of 10.

My lust is at 0.5, the average being 4 out of 10.
I’m not surprised. I’m too picky and I don’t understand sex as a pleasure, only as the ultimate way of expressing love. So, no lust for me, I’m not lusting and I’m not even pretending when I say that, I was born this way.

So…let’s just say that I’m proud of my pride.

I should change my name to Narcisa

This one is about quizzes as well, but smart ones. For the one with STUPID quizzes, visit yesterday’s entry.. Ktnxbai.

I’ve been solving some Phd-certified and similar (reliable) personality quizzes for a while, as well as those about right partners and other stuff…and I keep on getting my star sign and my personality type. I think I know what it means: I’m actually narcissistic and deep in love with myself.

There was that episode of Gusztav (he might be known to you who live far away from Hungary as Gustavus…and, if you have never heard of him, your personal culture is at a rather low level :p) where he was dating a bunch of girls and no girl was right for him. In the end, he ends up at a some place where a supercomputer is taking lists of what’s good about a human of opposite sex from people and generates a photorobot of that person’s ideal partner. Some old woman got an old man, a little girl got some handsome actor and then Gusztav put his paper in the computer. The machine was working hard, really hard and guess what popped out of the printer case? A doodle of angrzy Gusztav’s face. I bet the same would happen to me as well. Even though I love all of the people dear to me, I think I would only have a future with a clone of myself. Then again, that is strange, because I’m straight and not only that I wouldn’t experiment with a girl, I totally despise everything they do and my best girlfriends are either tomboys on the outside or tomboys at heart. Oh yes, 2/4 of my closest offline friends get the same results in these tests, as well as an online friend whom I consider to be the ying to my yang and the most daring person in the known universe. Another very close online friend has an INFJ/INTJ doublet. And my mother as well.

The usual thing happened with the tests for which Natalia gave me the links. So, from now on, you can call me Narcissa. O_O Narcisa would be spelling here, actually. Isobel would be good too, like in that Bjork’s song where she’s married to herself, but I used to know a girl called Isobel and she was pretty much a person I would never want to be associated to. So, I’m Narcisa and I’ll marry myself when I’ve turned 30 in 2013 or something like that:) I think there’s such a moment with The Red Guy in the Comet! episode of Cow & Chicken anyway.

So, here are my amazing test scores. Me ♥ me.

My score on The Quick and Dirty Personality Test:
INFJ - the counselor
(Your Type is 0% Extroverted, 12% Observant, 6% Logical and 50% Structured)

“Your type is best summed up by the word “counselor”, which belongs to the larger group of idealists. Only 2% of the population share your type. You are so empathic that you often know what others need before they know themselves. You are a complex person who can deal with complicated issues and people, almost prefer to, as you love problem solving. You can be something of an idealist or perfectionist, and should try to take yourself a little less seriously.
You are a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging your mate to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because you are so creative, you have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. You need harmony so much that you are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don’t violate your ethics. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires your creativity, trusts your inspirations, and respects your values. It is also vitally important that your partner be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.
Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: INFJ

My score on The Best Personality Type for You Test:
INFJ - The Counselor
(You scored 25 I versus E, 20 N versus S, 40 F versus T, and 60 J versus P!)

“Your ideal romantic partner is known as the counselor. This type makes a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging their mates to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because they are so creative, they have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. They need harmony so much that they are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don’t violate their strong ethics. They feel the most appreciated when their partners admire their creativity, trust their inspirations, and respect their values. It is also vitally important that their partners be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.
The group summary: idealists (NF)
The type summary: INFJ