The Good, The Bad, The 2007

OK, time for a super-boring post, a look back at 2007 for the first and last time, as even such an odd year deserves it. It was weird, from the very beginning. So, I’m glad it’s over, both according to the Gregorian and Julian calendar now. Bye-bye, so long, won’t miss you, FU.

The highlight of 2007 would probably be work and money, which is remarkably sad, but so good at the same time, as money might not buy someone happiness, but it sure makes people munch on ego waffles a bit more. Actually, that’s the only thing that matters there, the proof of achievement, just like when you’re winning awards in school.

The other highlight would be a delayed text message from one of my closest friends waking me up at the start of the second half of the year. My reaction to it was very similar to this webpage. That’s how good it was, yes. And whatever it was, it completely changes my negative outlook to life and its mysteries. Also, it made me think about my intuition, a part of me the existance of which I’d never wanted to admit before. Apparently, 2007 found me in a director’s chair, writing a rather strange script and then looking at it all actually happen, astonished, puzzled and, in many ways, confused. I learnt that I can predict things even through nonsense poems I was writing when I was fifteen. And I’m not talking only about the thing in the text message, I’m talking about a bunch of other things, but they all revolve around the same subject. I guess I should look for a parapsychologist to explain me what on Earth am I about, as I don’t know it myself.

Oooh, yes, Invisible Movement hits 500 000 in 2007. 400 000 and 600 000 as well, but those numbers are not as sexy as 500 000. Milestones are cool, aren’t they?

Other cool things would be one more trip to Gyula; RHCP at Green Fest (duh!), also seeing Rolling Stones, Muse and Buena Vista Social club live, being a spectator at the benefit where Ana Ivanović, Novak Đoković, Jelena Janković and Janko Tipsarević were gathering money for children and…so on.

Either way, because Mira will love it and because it’s kinda fitting in this particular moment:

Saw things
Clearer
Once you, were in my…
Rearviewmirror…

Now I can officially enjoy 2008, unless I should wait for the Chinese New Year to pass as well?

Come to think…what was I thinking?

Sometimes I wonder what on earth was I thinking when I’d whipped out the database hosting my old blog. As far as I can remember, there was someone who offered me to transfer it to the new webspace, but I had dial-up at home, I probably thought I’m never going to regret it, it was March 2006 aka Iva’s month of panic for almost no reason (let’s skip that story as it’s even offensive considering what holiday is coming up for my western Christiain friends!) and I was fed up with my mood swings in 2004 and 2005; especially May 2005 when the good things and bad things were rotating as if two different people were blogging.

Now I’m looking those old entries up. And I am going to recover them, oh yes I will. I even want to write a story on what supersonicsquirrel.net was like, how many people I was hosting. I think I had more than 30 hostees overall. God, I had so much free time, today I wouldn’t be able to handle it! Back then it was like a freakin’ train station and some of them never even managed to actually finish their websites and put them online, some others disappeared without a trace, a couple were not even responding to my emails about still being alive.

Before I do all of that and much more, I have found the oldest entry [minus the test one], written in November 2002. Back then, there was a meme called What if…, founded by some German girl whose name I do not even remember. And I actually made a public blog solely to present my answers to that one. The girl was posting a different question from a book she read once a week and then she was looking up people’s answers. Below the cut you’ll find my answers and the dates I replied. In my next post, I will try to reply all of these questions, five years later and it will be funny to compare them and see how much I’d changed, even though the base of me, the core is still the same.

It was NOT long ago, but the way this world is speeding up, it needs a ticket and we all need to stop and smell the roses.

It was 2002. Many things were heading towards a beautiful happy ending, solely to crash like Titanic soon after. Queen mom died, Maria Naumova won the ESC, mobile phones rarely had colour screens, iPods were resembling small tanks, Brazil won the world cup, central Europe was affected by the biggest floods in the recent times and Switzerland joined United Nations.

I was nineteen years old. I had no major goals in life other than finishing university (not knowing I’ll remain stuck in the class year I entered at that time) and publishing something, someday, not even knowing what and when. Today I have so many goals that I could easily beat Juste Fontaine’s record on the 1958 world cup.

And, before you get scared of it: read the paragraphs above again and again and one more time.

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The Tickle inkblot test is free this week so…why not do it?

http://web.tickle.com/tests/inkblot

Iva, your subconscious mind is driven most by Love

Everyone has a desire to love. But your desire is rooted very deeply in your unconscious and affects many of the decisions you make in life — whether you are aware of it or not.

You have an energy about you that inspires people to experience their true feelings of love and act kindly towards others. In this way, you and your drive for loving relationships start a chain reaction of positive experiences.

The reason you are driven by love, may be because your unconscious is trying to avoid the opposite of love — hate. You, more than others, may be afraid of experiencing severe discord with others. That may, in turn, heavily influence your choices about relationships and the way you communicate your ideas, wants, and desires to others.

With such a strong orientation towards loving others, your relationships hold a very special place in your life. Your capacity to love may be greater than those around you, and therefore you may have more to give in relationships than your romantic partner does. Remember that this is a gift you have and one most others don’t possess.

Of Mirrors And Friends

The worst thing about having both rich offline and online lives is actually being able to keep up with everything, not forget stuff (or even worse: PEOPLE!), be well-organised and not mess things up…says someone with about 500 emails waiting to be replied to. And then people who are just plain bored nudge you on MSN and wonder what on Earth have you been doing in case you have not responded to each single messages within, like, twenty seconds.

The week behind me was important, in many ways. I realised how nasty I was to some people in the past with no reason, and they cared about me. And they still do. I re-united with a bunch of online friends whom I have ditched or forgotten for no real reason and I’m still trying to figure out if I would forgive them if they were me and if I was the one doing it. And I realise that tolerance is a good thing. If one thinks something in the lines of “Iva is having some weird shit going on, she’ll be fine sometime, until then I shall be here” then yes, they’re tolerant. Having said that, I hope the remaining ones will forgive me, too…unfortunately, I also have not called one of my closest offline friends, I don’t even know if she got my lame birthday e-card 2 months ago.

And what else happened? I bumped into three highschool mates and a bunch of elementary school ones on the Facebook. I’ve added them all and so far all but one who’s not around at the moment have added me back. Then I figured out I’d search for my mates from the animated movies workshop and I found two of them. Both of them have been in USA ever since after the NATO bombing. And they were more than delighted that I remember them, which was the most heart-warming moment of the week, absolutely.

Other than that and having gone for a quick drink and a walk with one of my closest friends on Friday, I’m still spending the most of the time cleaning my room.

Last week we threw the old mirror out and it’s in the basement now, waiting for better days and more space. People say that it is not good for one’s luck to have a broken mirror around, anyway. I don’t know. Broken or not, mirrors have always been inspiring me to write. The novel I am almost ashamed to continue writing is based on a story which has a little, little bit in common with Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carol and two Paulo Coelho’s novels I like very much: On The Banks Of River Piedra I Sat And Wept and Veronika Decides To Die. And the mirror was triple. I was seeing three copies of myself and I simply couldn’t have been alone. I remember standing on the opposite side of the room with my friend Zoka when we were little, enjoying how there were six other little girls looking at us from the other side. And, during spring 1999, I was afraid of mirrors, because I had some dream where I looked into the mirror and saw a skeleton looking back at me and a rather haunted voice said that, when the same thing happens in reality, I will be killed in bombing. Strangely enough, just after the whole horror ended, Chemical Brothers’ video for Hey Boy, Hey Girl got into heavy rotation on both MTV and Viva. And there was David Bowie’s Look Back In Anger as well.

So, the new item in the room is a computer table. I never had a computer table before, so I am still amused by the sliding extension for the keyboard and mouse. That’s right, at the age of 24. And my poor mahagoni desk is not weeping under the weight of the monitor anymore. I could actually study at it. Writing? Nah, I prefer to write in bed for some reason.

Either way, I shall post photos of my re-organised room when I’m done with the desk and the corner where the TV is. And there are two posters I simply must get to grace my personal space. Think six in six.