Iva’s personal site - Squirrelism.net

I always give blank stares and shake my head in disbelief when people tell me how much they love summer. For me, it’s the worst season of the year. Heat, heat, heat, heat and more heat. I understand that it is perfectly bearable in countries where summer temperature is what we already have in May and what we have during the nights in June, July and August (if we’re lucky, that is); but I seriously don’t understand how someone can praise temperatures from 30 to 35, dangerous ultraviolet rays, sweaty and smelly people everywhere, way too many barely dressed young girls showing too much of their, very often unnaturally tanned bodies (redlight special: butt cracks peeping out of way-too-low cut clothes…eww) and way too many barely dressed old men showing too much of their bodily hair. Not to mention food defrosting, drinks getting warm after a couple of minutes, natural cosmetics rottening. Summer? Nooo, thanks. Only if I could spend it in some nice place outside, perhaps. But that would be too crowded. I don’t know. I don’t like summer and it’s a fact.

Actually, a temperature of 30-35 degrees Celsius would be acceptable right now. Why? Because the termomether on our balcony now says it’s forty five degrees. Weather reports say it’s 42, it was 43 earlier today and it definitely was 45 on Sunday, the day when Mira said it was 52 in her street.

Seeing that it’s 17 degrees in Ireland, 22 in England, France and Czech Republic and that the only worse countries in terms of temperature than us know are Iraq, United Arab Emirates Syria and Saudi Arabia, I don’t know what to think. Ummm…hello? This is Europe. It’s not a middle-east desert country, we have trees, rivers and all those nice things.

They say the sky will be particularly cloudy tomorrow, that there’s a chance of a rainshower as well. Temperature? Pure heaven compared to this: 16 degrees during the night and 29 degrees at the “worst” point during the day. They also say that many people might have health problems because of such a huge change. I’m going to have a health problem too: I’ll go hysteric from happiness if it happens.

And then people ask me why I’d move to Antartica…bleh.

Q: One of the keys to an Eurovision victory would be a complete madness on the stage.
A: Of course, get a bunch of people to dance, put some chick in a cage, get someone to jump out of a piano, change clothes (if that’s actually possible within three minutes)…do stuff. And all that shit.

Q: Would you ever think a non-English-speaking song could win at the Eurovision when EVERYBODY is speaking English these days?
A: Well, what do you know, ever since 1999 when the language rules changed, all the winning songs were in English.

Q: When did a ballad last won at the ESC?
A: Ages ago, in 1996.

Q: Would you ever say that looks really, really don’t matter in the times when the most of the female singers are more undressed than dressed?
A: Well, what do you know, Marie N. was a pretty girl, Sertab Erener was barely dressed, Ruslana wasn’t wearing underpants, Helena Paparizou’s dress was shorter than some tops. Come to think, bless Lordi, they were guys with scary masks and costumes. And their song wasn’t about getting it on.

ripped from TV by yours truly

Well, whatdyaknow, we broke the rules!!!
On Saturday, 12th May, Marija Šerifović, a girl in a suit won the Eurovision Song Contest, without a flashy performance, singing a ballad in Serbian. This was our first time at the Eurovision as an independent country, we’re pissing everyone off by not being able to form a government 4 months after the elections and, well, the mood towards us was really not good last week. And then this girl and her five backing vocals, backed by a wonderful songwriter, an amazing composer and a hard-working team went to Helsinki and won the contest! Also, should I even try to explain what kind of a welcome home party they had?

Neighbour votes, you say? Well, let me tell you two things:
1) We would’ve won even without them. Marija was that good, yeah. The difference between first and second place was huge.
2) We used to live in the same country with those five countries. Hello, this is like a painful divorce that finally ended on friendly terms. Should we hate each other? Urgh, no. There was so much hate going on for 16 years, this is beautiful. By the way, my father said that it would be better to live like in the 80s and be the last on a contest like this than to be torn to pieces and win it.
3) Greece always votes for Cyprus and Cyprus always votes for Greece. Norway always votes for Sweden.

The voting was set up/it’s a gift for the most-loser country in Europe, you say?
The semifinal scoreboard speaks a lot. Look at the difference. I also wonder what happened to the UK votes in the finals as people couldn’t change their minds that much within 2 days.
…and it’s kinda cute that two of three -ia Baltic countries and Andorra didn’t like us at all as one sent the most disgusting weird-faced “look, I have breasts!” chick ever to compete for them, the other sent the band whose song could only make me fall asleep and the third send a carbon copy of Blink 182. Shame, because I really like Catalan language.

Ugly fat shemale/dike/lesbian with glasses? You people are mad! ,you say?
1) It’s no one’s business if Marija is a heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. How does that affect her singing?
2) Also, how do her looks affect her singing? Would she be a better singer if she looked like Beyonce or J.Lo? Ummm, no. She has quite a career here, she’s been winning contests since she was 12 years old and it’s all because of what it should be the reason for it: MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC.

Nationalists, nationalists, nationalists. They don’t want to sing in English. Either that or they don’t know languages at all., you say?
1) Ha, ha, haaaaaa! In this city, which is, well, about 50% of the population of the whole country, the most of the population speaks at least two foreign languages. Kids overuse English, even when it’s not neccesary, I am one of those people who bitch about it, because I am all for using of one language at time, thank you very much.
2) There IS an English version of the song. There’s also a Serbian/English/Finnish/Russian version of the song. How’s that for being multilingual? The Finnish bit was sang a capella at the press conference and the English version was played at the welcome back party. BTW, if you need the song lyrics, they have it all here.

Speaking of that, how about returning to the old language rule? Wasn’t the point to embrace our little differences and accept the fact that we’re a bunch of different nations crowding one little continent which is geographically actually just a huuuuuge peninsula? It was so wonderful to hear Bulgarian, Macedonian, Slovenian, Catalan, German (twice!), apart from the standard occasional Spanish, French, Portugese and this mishmash we speak here that’s supposedly three different languages. It was also wonderful to, just like last year, hear some Italian, another proof that ESC is truly missing Italy.

So, with these words, see you here in Beograd next year! Keep a diet, because we have great food and, just to let you know, the heat is horrible in May. Desert days and tropical nights the most of the time and the nearest sea is 600 km away.

P.S. I will update this sometime soon and post my reviews of all the songs and contestants. Either way, I voted for Georgia and I also really loved Hungarian, Bulgarian, Macedonian, Swedish, Slovenian and Russian songs (the last one only if I close my eyes at the lyrics, that was just…tasteless). Also sad Denmark and Cyprus didn’t make it to the finals, but that’s life.

Can this month really be THIS good?

This May, it’s time to revisit a dream, ideal or vision, as Neptune turns retrograde in Aquarius on the 24th, ushering in a period that will last until October 31! If you’ve still got spring fever, be forewarned: When Neptune turns retrograde, logic goes out the window and we are all much more inclined to listen to our hearts and throw caution — and common sense — to the wind. The retrograde bodes well for the artistically inclined, though, and promises to do wonders for those without daily creative outlets. Indeed, expect your dreams to become more vivid as your desire to create increases.

This May is particularly special because there will be two full Moons instead of one — an event that occurs approximately every 2.7 years! That means that this month is ideal for doing things you’d only dare to do ‘once in a blue Moon,’ which is what the second full Moon is called. All full Moons signal periods of heightened emotion and mark a culmination of plans set in motion during the previous new Moon. With the Moon in Sagittarius aligning with Jupiter, you may find yourself feeling wildly enthusiastic, as if nothing can stop you. Go for it!

This is for Sofija, she wanted me to update…and I am guessing she’s not aware that I have made another blog for Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian-speakers, it’s over there. Also, RHCP Serbia, run by Ivan, Jovana and I is finally up, for now just the forum, but we’ll get the rest up when we can.

First, one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life sent me an angry mail yesterday afternoon. I wrote a long reply to explain who was screwing around with me, she replied back today, but I don’t dare to read it. I put the message in the read later folder. I am not mentally able to see what she will say. All I know is that, whatever I do, I need her in my life because she’s like family to me. God, this sucks. And I know that she knows I have no nerves but…still… I lost her once already. My heart and mind wouldn’t survive that.

I had a website crash which I managed to solve but it ended up with taking tranquilizers and my hands were shaking. I thought someone hacked me, I alarmed the hosting provider support and it turned out a database table just b0rked itself and needed to be repaired. I was so paranoid. I almost thought years of hard work blew up…so, I needed a walk…and more Pepsi…

…and then when I came back home with Pepsi, snacks and dad’s cigarettes, my wallet didn’t come home with me somehow, so I lost my ID, my health care ID, public transportation ID with the monthly ticket, bookstore three-year discount card, Elle shopping card and two debit cards, one youth Visa and one Maestro. There was also a tiny birthday card from a friend, a couple of paper calendars and proverbs we get with popcorn. And some money, about 20 Euros in dinars, but that’s the least important thing. Luckily, I blocked both cards and nobody knows my PINs anyway…but god…I don’t have documents.

If my life continues like this, I’ll die from a heart attack at 30. There’s been too much stress recently, everywhere. And in the end, come se tutto quello non bastasse, my camera is completely broke, I can’t even turn it on because it starts pulling its lense in and out as if it was epileptic. I wanted to take it to the service, but with my schedule these days, that turned out to be pretty impossible.

Recently, I’ve been on DeviantArt more than ever before and I’ve been neglecting the most of the online communities I’m visiting apart from the local Lush forum I’m the administrator of. Why? Work, work, work; followed by social life, social life, social life; ending with sleep, sleep, sleep.

Partly, I blame all this on the fears and traumas I’ve been through in 2005. and the most of 2006. Partly, I blame it on having been completely smitten and gaga for the past two months.

Shakira knows how to describe it properly. So, I’ll let her finish this entry for me…

Ojerosa, flaca, fea, desgreñada,
torpe, tonta, lenta, necia, desquiciada,
completamente descontrolada
tú te das cuenta y no me dices nada
ves que se me ha vuelto
la cabeza un nido
donde solamente tu tienes asilo
y no me escuchas lo que te digo
mira bien lo que vas a hacer conmigo

Happy Easter. For a change, us here celebrated it on the same day as everyone else. And it was cool. I’d have taken some pics, but something weird is happening with my digital camera, it won’t take photos when flash is on and, well, sometimes I need more light. In fact, this is one of those moments in life when I could use a light year of light.

My wonderful friend Fran and I caught up on MSN last night and she mentioned that she could feel a lot of pain in my entries here and on LiveJournal and in plain stupid survey bulletins on MySpace; so she asked me what it was all about and I told her the story I cannot share in public, as I don’t want to sound like some drama blogger girl. I did not realise I sound THAT bitter and hurt, because…I don’t really know what I’m feeling at the moment, what I was feeling yesterday, a week or a month ago. Someone owes me an explanation, I am not sure if I want to hear it, as it will probably turn out everything was a bunch of complete coincidences. And even if it wasn’t, how to live with the thought of being a complete jinx hanging above my head? How? Sure, time is a cure for everything, but this was…specific. I could write. I could write a whole novel about nothing and everything, all at once. A novel where nothing happened and everything happened. I just told you everything and I didn’t tell you anything. How do you fell when your first try in something was a real flop? Do you move on? Keep on trying? Realise you’re not talented for that even though it’s something that’s so easy for everyone else? Do you feel dumb? How dumb?

Want something happier? I have made a new layout for Lush Serbia, go and have a look. I am yet to make it tableless (was a bit lazy, I must admit), sort accessibility issues as I know some people who visit it regularly are blind and also experiment with some other things. But it won’t be getting an 800×600 version this time.

Actually, this isn’t happier either, as the person who hired me got fired and we all loved him, even though he had occasional shortcomings…who doesn’t have them, anyway?

Weird, weird world this is…